Inhibition

I opened my eyes this morning but I doubt that I’m really alive. Everything that I try to touch is out of reach. There’s a void between myself and me. And I could feel it coming closer every day but I did nothing than store all that I love with all my records on faraway shelves. I’ve been slowly rotting from the inside out. Depraved. Ruined. Just another debaser. I walk on bare feet so I wouldn’t always feel like I’m on my knees. That’s a trick I learned that works for me. But not today ‘cause something is deeply wrong. The lights are out and the amps are running warm. This could be one of those days if it wasn’t for me. Play as loud as you can. I feel nothing. I died today. I am a broken man with a meaningless verse as aversive to yours as to my own words. I’m a leper without a warning bell. It’s always the ones you least expect it from. I think more about death than I think about sex. I’ve thought about suicide so often I could already be dead. So why should you bother clearing your throat when you haven’t got the blues? Bring on the napalm ‘cause this is the end my friends. I’m watching everything I know, everything I love and all that I am disintegrating right before my very own eyes. And I’ve been meaning to say it for a long time. Every generation is fucked ‘cause modern life will always be at war itself. My life is fucked so fuck you but most of all fuck me.