In October

I hate those autumn days where darkness is as close as a cold wind in my neck. Feelings changed into reality and the cycle has been completed once again. It's the time of being in doubt with myself. My focus is blinded,blinded by thequestion where do I stand and where will I go.I am disrupted,I'm questioning every single action,I'm disrupted I'm scared to fall apart.Running aimless,thinking hopeless give me an answer or forgive my my excuse.Denying me is no blasphemy and ignoring me won't kill me.And smashing this self-destroying mirror will just kill an image and not the whole man. I will be the one I used to be and not the one you used to see.Years have passed so fucking senseless to thing about the balance in my life,victoy and defeat are just words that I can't catch.Scratching on the surface and telling me nothing about myself.