I Do My Crosswords in Pen

ink bleeds deeper when pressed hard, soaks through paper and leaves stains on the table. you don't look how i pictured. you don't look quite how i remember. i'll tell myself "i cannot surround me." but some smiles both ressurect, and drain the life from me. i don't tell you everything. it's heartless, the pictures remind me i'm calloused to smiles.