Abstinence

Walking down this staircase without banisters to hold myself onto. Every step reminds me, things I've done in the past. I can't see the end, isn't there an end? Taking one more step. I'm too young to die. But what about all those who had no choice and died because of my selfish greed. My abstinence. I've worked out for years, will be paid. Admit the crime, which I've done. This darkness makes me feel as if something were watching me now. I don't feel free. Fear to walk deeper into, it's my new imagination of hell. Try to stand still but there is no way to. Abstinence helps no more. Now comes the long awaited confrontation. My abstinence. I've worked out for years, will be paid. Admit the crime. Which I've done. My abstinence brought me burning hell. Try to stand still but there is no way to.