Memoirs

frustrated by failure, failure to communicate i just want to give up throw in the towel, let it all slip away everythings become a filthy version of what it once was im disgusted by my waning passion and my embrace for guilt retrospect brings regret but for now im shutting it all out just expect nothing less to be filled with self loathing and doubt this potent sting of remorse is killing me because retrospect brings regret from now on im shutting it all out i guess i lied when i said id die trying so it would seem that im better off lying in a pool of misery in the nearest reaches of despair because i've reached rockbottom clutching memories making sure ive got them and if nothing more ill take them to my fucking grave ive given all i can and i cant give anymore been screaming "fuck!" for so long my throat is blood and raw and letting it slip away is something that i thought id never do looking back at the photographs to see the difference was in my eyes i must have lost something along the way, used to turn anger to drive but my eyes are open to reality im through asking questions like "why me?" im fucking done and im admitting defeat and i wouldnt have it any other way i wouldnt have it any other way, no one else can control me and when i looked back i realized the difference was in my eyes and now that ive come to terms with the relentlessness of misery and recaptured the urgent feelings of despair i feel whole again, whole again in the emptiness and that is something i will both despise and cherish. with every fiber of my being coming to terms with the misery coming to terms with the relentlessness and thats something i will despise with every fiber of my being coming to terms with the misery coming to terms with the relentlessness and thats something i will cherish and ill do it with the greatest sincerity