Fish Ranch Road (The Wanderer)

I’ve got nothing to lose… It’s over foggy ocean haze that I can finally see How I can’t see anything I fold my arms and drop my head to my knees Then I scream and I scream I’ve been a wreck these past few years It’s wearing me down; it’s breaking me down It’s killing me I feel it weighing down so heavily The view takes my mind off my depression and anxiety Take this burden away, oh please hurry I pray to god to help mend this void When it comes to saving, unfortunately he forgot me Not loved, no one cares I would be lying to say the words never crossed me You can’t understand me “Leave him alone”, just “Leave him home.” Wish you could have been there to comfort me Family disconnected emotionally I’m trying to be what my father never taught me As the sun sets west My heart drops further down my chest It’s so exhausting My past is haunting and I’ve never had the chance to fight back Son you’re swinging for the fences They counted you out before you even began When the sun rises east I wonder if there are others like me Although I’ve never complained There is only so much my body can take But when I’m sitting out here The wind makes my hair stand on end and I lose all fear When I get closer, it seems farther Sitting up here the view is no longer clear I wouldn’t take a single word back I envy other people’s courage Scared I’ll never live up to my own expectations Scared people won’t like me for who I am I lack self-esteem I hide behind my own words I’m going through the motions without any emotions I just wish I had someone to love Then they would be forced to let me open up It’s a funny to think that love has this power I let true love slip away but I won’t let it again I’ve been trying everything to find my stability for the last five years Maybe I’ve had it wrong this whole time inside my head Now I stare out through darkness, through moving lights It’s time to realize, love is an act of bravado Through it all only one thing has kept me in tact The beating never stops; it never lets me give up I can feel it on the tip of my ears It starts to pound faster, to beat of the drums As light creeps over my head The sun finally comes back up I ask myself how I will get though the day I’m asking for a second chance A chance to pick myself up All I have ever needed is myself and a beating heart Nothing else But the beating of my heart I’ve failed me.